Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ttyl tear gas
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize