I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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