Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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