But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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