So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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