his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
