I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize