Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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