I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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