i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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