sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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