Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
