would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
