school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
