there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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