So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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