I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
