Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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