Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
