watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so let's talk penis.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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