THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
