it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i came on her dog
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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