I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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