I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
