"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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