Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
