Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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