I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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