You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
