life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
