Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
