Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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