Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My ass is underappreciated
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
