Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

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(605): View more from South Dakota

maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover

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(646): View more from New York

I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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(714): View more from California

I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed

(949): View more from California

Someone's stooooned

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(910): View more from North Carolina

A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.

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(325): View more from Texas

I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.

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