there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
