Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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