no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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