Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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