fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
