just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
