she was so not down for the gang bang
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
