The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
