I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
