just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
