You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
