...so i touched it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
