he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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