My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
