Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
