I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
