I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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