So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize