this boner is exhausting
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
