I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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