Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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