Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
